i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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