Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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