he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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