Her vagina should come with caution tape.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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