I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
