he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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