my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
