Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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