I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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