she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
