i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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