I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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