I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
