I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
