i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
