ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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