Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
