I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
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she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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