I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
