I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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