i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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