just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
People in love make me want to vomit
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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