He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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