there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
