That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
