just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
