im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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