he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize