you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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