i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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