I wish I only lived at night.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
