i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
