I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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