it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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