I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's never too late to be topless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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