Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize