Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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