Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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