would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
