Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We were destined to go to rehab together
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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