I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
vagina is talking i cant
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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