I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
