i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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