I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
