Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize