Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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