I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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