thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
