my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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