should my penis look like a turkey
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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