wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
