her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
