No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
