They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
